25 advent calendar ideas for your boyfriend (that aren't just chocolate)

A shop-bought calendar gives him 24 squares of chocolate he'll forget by Boxing Day. A homemade one gives him 24 small reasons to think about you. This is the second kind.

You don't need to be crafty, and you don't need to spend much. The doors people remember are almost never the expensive ones. They're the note that mentioned the thing he said in March, the photo he'd never seen, the "wear this on Saturday, I've booked something." Below are 25 ideas sorted by type, a quick guide to making it, and a way to do the whole thing on his phone if you're not in the same place this December.

Little notes (cost nothing, land hardest)

Put at least six of these in. They're the doors he'll keep.

1. The first thing you noticed about him. One sentence, be specific.
2. A memory only the two of you have. "The night the car wouldn't start and we…"
3. Something he did this year that you're proud of. He probably doesn't know you clocked it.
4. A thing he says that you secretly love. The phrase, the accent he does, the way he says your name.
5. An "open when" note. "Open when you've had a bad day at work."
6. A drawing. A bad one is better. Draw the two of you as stick figures doing something you did this year.
7. A prediction. "This time next year we'll…" Sign it. Keep a copy.

Small things he'll actually use

8. The coffee he orders, in beans. A 100g bag from the place he likes.
9. Good socks. Unglamorous. He'll wear them for two years.
10. A single sachet of the hot sauce he keeps mentioning.
11. Guitar picks, a golf ball, climbing chalk, a bike light. Whatever his thing is, one small consumable for it.
12. A lip balm he'd never buy himself.
13. A book of matches from the restaurant of your first date. Or a coaster. Ask nicely, they'll give you one.
14. A photo, printed. Nobody prints photos any more. That's why it works.

Experiences and plans

These are "vouchers." Write them on a card, and honour them in January.

15. "I'll cook the thing you always order." Name the dish.
16. A film night where he picks and you don't complain. Put the not-complaining in writing.
17. One weekend morning with no plans and no phones.
18. "Wear this on Saturday." Include a small hint about where you're going.
19. A back rub. Twenty minutes. No time limit negotiations.
20. Tickets to something he'd never book for himself. This is the one expensive door. Put it on the 24th.

Food, but make it personal

21. The exact sweets from his childhood. Ask his mum which ones.
22. A miniature of the whisky or gin he drinks.
23. One perfect pastry, delivered on a weekday morning.
24. A packet of the instant noodles he's embarrassed about liking.
25. A "breakfast in bed" card, redeemable at any time, once.

How to actually make it

Two options, depending on how much you want to make and how much you want to send.

The physical version

Twenty-four small kraft envelopes or paper bags, a marker for the numbers, and a shoebox or a length of string and some pegs. Fill them in one evening. Mix the categories so he doesn't get five notes in a row, and put the best three on the 1st (so he's hooked), the 12th (halfway slump) and the 24th.

The digital version

If he lives somewhere else, travels for work, or you just want to add things that don't fit in an envelope, make it on his phone instead. Tailii is an app for exactly this: you build a countdown of surprises, one for each day, and each one stays locked until its date. He gets a notification in the morning, opens the day, and finds whatever you put there.

What goes in a digital door that can't go in a paper one:

• A voice note. Thirty seconds of you saying the thing you'd write in the card, in your voice.
• A video. You, his friends, his mum wishing him a happy December.
• A photo he's never seen. One from your camera roll from the night you met.
• A drawing, done with your finger. Tailii has a pen tool. Draw the stick figures.
• A link. The song, the restaurant booking, the playlist.

Here's the whole thing in 40 seconds, from naming the countdown to the moment he opens a door:

Questions people ask